Another Thanksgiving Without Ryan.
As we gather around the table with family, though amazing and joyful there is that never ending pain and miss that lurks beneath the surface. The pain that is in my heart, often hidden. That pain that wants to yell, Why isn't my Ryan here? Why is he not here with his cousins, a wife, a child or two? Why am I not called grandma like my sisters?

Then it all comes flooding back to me like a never ending river of pain. That vision of my only child dying on a steal table, stripped necked by a deadly vaccine preventable disease of all dignity, health and life.  The frustration of knowing it should not have happened. That Ryan could have been vaccinated.

So I fight back the tears, pass the cranberry sauce,yet another time and prepare for another battle in this continued fight to stop this deadly disease. Miss you baby boy, Mom